I wonder, is there is a limit to how much a person should work to achieve their dream.
If everything is against them, is it a sign saying that ‘this is wrong’ and ‘you shouldn’t do it’?
Is there such a thing as ‘fate’ and ‘signs’?
And while I am on this subject, I really wish that I could even think about things such as this because honestly… I don’t feel that I’m working extremely hard for my dream. It’s as if my dream is so far away that, I feel it’s no longer considered ‘mine’. I feel as if I’m slowly giving up and it’s uncontrollable.
I don’t want to give up though. I don’t want to let it go.
I want to reach my goal, but I’m slowly drawing back from the fear of not succeeding. It really makes me wonder…what if all of this is not worth it? What if I spend all my work and effort on this and nothing goes well?
I know that I’m weak and cowardly for thinking like this and maybe even a little lazy, however it’s hard and I don’t have the mental power for it.
I know that if I just put in a little more effort and a little more patience and maybe be a little more focussed on the task at hand, I could do it. I could pull everything off.
But for some reason , something is holding me back. I don’t know what though…
Maybe it’s me. I’m holding myself back.
From all my bad traits. Being lazy and losing sight of what I’m supposed to be doing, so often that I’ve already lost count. Quitting before I reach the finish line. Giving into my useless habits.
I really want it to change. I want to start completing my goals. Not resting till I’m satisfied with my work. Stop wasting time and getting distracted so that I can sleep early to fuel my days to come.
I just have to keep hanging in there and one day, my life’s treasure will show itself.